“Don’t go there. Everyone is weird.”
That is advice I once heard a college student give a younger family member about a school he attended. The funny thing was that, meanwhile, he had found his people there and was having a great experience.
It made me think about something a friend with a Stanford degree and so many letters behind his name that his credentials look like a jumbled alphabet once told me:
“Everyone is a little weird. I’m a little weird. My wife is a little weird. Staying married means finding someone’s weirdness you can tolerate.”
I’ve thought about that a lot over the years.
I’ve been married for more than 30 years, and I think he was onto something. I look at other perfectly happy couples and occasionally think, “Geez, that particular weirdness would not work for me.” I’m sure they’ve had similar thoughts about me.
But “weird” is an interesting word choice because, at its base, it contains a judgment. It suggests that there is a normal way to be and that the person who falls outside of it is somehow the problem.
But what if weirdness is often just difference viewed from the wrong vantage point?
The college student was right in one sense. Everyone is weird. But perhaps the more important question isn't, “Where are the normal people?” It is, “Where are my people?”
Because sometimes the thing that makes someone strange in one environment is exactly the thing that makes them thrive in another.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately through my professional work around diversity. The analogy I’ve come to embrace is the human body.
The heart cells and the brain cells should not be judging one another. To each other, the other is pretty weird. They have different structures, different priorities and completely different functions. And God forbid you introduce the bone cells into the equation. Now we have another kind of weird altogether.
Yet no one looks at a bone cell and says, “Why can’t you be more like a brain cell?”
The body works because its parts are different.
And, as a minister’s daughter, the biblical language of being part of the body of Christ is not lost on me. Paul’s metaphor wasn't that the body would be healthy when every part became identical. Quite the opposite. The body needed its many parts precisely because they were different.
That feels increasingly relevant to how we think about diversity.
The strength of an individual, a relationship or an organization isn't necessarily its ability to eliminate difference. It is its ability to create a container big enough to hold difference—to allow a bunch of unlike parts to function together without requiring them to become alike.
That was one of the things I found so frustrating as a school counselor. The funnel through which we assessed students was often incredibly narrow. I watched brilliant artists get pummeled by an academic structure that had very little ability to recognize their particular talents. Then, once they failed to fit the structure, we labeled them.
And once a structure repeatedly tells you that you are weird, it becomes very difficult not to internalize the message.
So the student who doesn't fit becomes “the problem.” The artist becomes “unfocused.” The kid who dresses differently becomes “strange.” The kid whose brain works differently becomes “behind.”
And then we wonder why they begin to believe it.
Maybe we need a different question.
Instead of asking, “What is wrong with this person?” we might ask, “What is this person built to do?”
That doesn't mean celebrating every behavior or pretending that every difference is inherently good. Some behaviors are harmful. Some values genuinely conflict. Boundaries matter. Discernment matters.
But difference should not automatically be confused with deficiency.
And I think this applies beyond our differences with one another. It applies to our differences from our former selves.
We are works in progress.
At different points in our lives, different things become important to us. Young parents may place enormous value on resources for childcare. Women may advocate passionately for greater investment in healthcare research. Older people may care deeply about senior care. Each perspective reflects something real about the life being lived from that particular vantage point.
None of us sees the whole organism from where we stand.
And that's the humbling part.
We are all growing.
Sometimes that growth is wonderful. Sometimes it is painful. Sometimes it is chosen. Sometimes it is imposed upon us. Sometimes we fight it with everything we have.
But if we are fortunate, we don't remain exactly who we were.
The person I am today is not the person I was thirty years ago. And I hope the person I am thirty years from now will be someone my current self would occasionally find a little weird.
Because perhaps that is what growth looks like.
Expansion.
More capacity. More perspective. More ability to hold what once seemed incompatible.
Maybe our future—individually and collectively—isn't in eliminating the weird.
Maybe it is in becoming spacious enough to recognize that someone else's weirdness may simply be a function of where they stand, what they are built to do, or who they are becoming.
The heart doesn't need to become the brain.
The brain doesn't need to become the heart.
And the bone certainly doesn't need to apologize for being bone.
The body needs them all.
Maybe the work is not to make everyone normal.
Maybe the work is to build a body big enough for all of us to belong.
✨ The first Dream Lab was AWESOME! ✨
Seriously. So, so good.
We spent time discovering our dreams and envisioning what we want our lives to look like through meditation, remembering, and reconnecting with what we truly want.
We explored what lights us up, what matters most, and what might be possible when we give ourselves permission to dream.
And when we were done? We all wanted MORE TIME!
So… we're doing it again! 🎉 This time it is the ....
BOO R U PARTY!!
When: Oct. 29th, 2026
Where: Namu 5420 Durham-Chapel Hill Blvd, Durham, NC 27707
👻 BOO R U? COME AS YOU ARE! 🎃
Because who you are is AWESOME, so let's discover more of who that is!
Join us for Boo R U—a night of Halloween fun, unexpected connections, and celebrating the wonderfully weird, delightfully different, absolutely one-of-a-kind people we are.
No costumes required (unless you want to!). No awkward small talk. No pressure to impress anyone. Just good people, a little Halloween magic, and a chance to laugh, connect, and discover the things we have in common—even when we seem completely different.
Coming solo? Perfect! You won't be the only one.
Or, bring a friend. Be mysterious. Be silly. Be your authentic, unfiltered, gloriously imperfect self.
Because life is too short to pretend to be someone you’re not. And the world is a whole lot more interesting when we let people be themselves.
🦇 Come for the fun. Stay for the connection. Leave knowing a few more wonderful humans.
📅 October 29 | 7–9 PM
Boo R U? We can't wait to find out! 👻
🎃 Boo R U: Who It's For and What You'll Get
Because who you are is AWESOME—so let's discover more of who that is!
Boo R U is a night of Halloween fun, unexpected connections, and celebrating the wonderfully weird, delightfully different, absolutely one-of-a-kind people we are.
👻 3 Reasons to Come to Boo R U
1. You want to meet people you might not otherwise meet.
Making new friends as an adult isn't always easy. Boo R U is an opportunity to step outside your usual circle, strike up a conversation, share a laugh, and discover the interesting humans all around you. You never know who you'll meet or what you might have in common!
2. You're ready to let your hair down and have some fun.
Life can get pretty serious. Between work, responsibilities, and taking care of everyone else, when was the last time you did something simply because it sounded FUN? Come play, laugh, embrace your quirky side, and give yourself permission to enjoy the moment.
3. You're curious about what makes people—and YOU—so wonderfully unique.
We all have talents, stories, quirks, and unexpected sides that make us who we are. Boo R U is a chance to celebrate those differences, discover something new about yourself and others, and appreciate the magic that happens when different people come together.
🦇 3 Reasons NOT to Come—and Why They're Moot!
"I don't know anyone."
Perfect! That's an opportunity, not a problem. Come meet some new people. You won't be the only one, and you don't have to work the room like a professional networker. Just show up and be yourself.
"I'm not good at socializing."
No worries. There's no audition, no popularity contest, and no requirement to be the life of the party. You don't have to impress anyone. Just come as you are and see what happens.
"I'm too busy."
We get it. Life is full. But connecting with other people, laughing, and doing something a little different can be a wonderful way to recharge. You deserve an evening that's about enjoying yourself, too!
🎉 What You'll Walk Away With
✨ New connections and the possibility of new friendships.
✨ A few laughs, a lighter spirit, and a break from the everyday.
✨ A chance to discover and celebrate what makes you uniquely YOU.
✨ A reminder that there are wonderful people are everywhere—and that includes you!
You don't have to be spooky, spectacular, or particularly social. You just have to be YOU.
Come for the Halloween fun. Stay for the people. Leave knowing a little more about the wonderfully weird world of who we are.
Because the world doesn't need more people trying to be like everyone else. It needs more people comfortable being themselves.
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