Lately, I’ve been talking with a lot of people who feel stuck.
Stuck in jobs they’ve outgrown. Stuck in a liminal space with no exit sign. Stuck in a mental loop that really needs an intervention before they end up living in a camper down by the river.
Beneath these feelings is a common thread: the longing for something different.
But what are they actually searching for?
The truth is, most of us aren't searching for something tangible.
That would be too easy.
Instead, we're searching for something much deeper—a new state of being.
We want to feel alive, connected, joyful, peaceful, purposeful, and free, not burned out and barely scratching the surface of what life can be.
We just don't know how to get there from here.
But we're a smart and determined bunch, so we do what we do best: problem-solve. We seek outside answers—see the doctor, get a new job, take some pills, drink some wine, collect some stamps, or distract ourselves with the news, video games, Netflix, or doomscrolling. All in an attempt to give our active minds an external focus - the same way a smart pet owner gives a frustrated working dog a job to do.
And then, at 3:00 a.m. on some random full moon, we find ourselves lying awake, wondering what it's all about.
And here's the thing we know deep down: what we seek is not external; we can't buy it or distract our minds enough to make it go way because it's internal and internal work is messy work.
It means venturing into the dark recesses of our psyche and facing an uncomfortable truth: the road we're on isn't doing it for us anymore. And maybe it never was.
Somewhere along the way, we got so busy doing what we thought we were supposed to do that we lost touch with what we actually wanted to do.
But that part of us hasn't disappeared.
You see, deep within us is an optimistic inner child who still believes the world is full of adventures waiting to be had—and couldn't care less about the brand of our car or the letters, or lack thereof, behind our name.
And that child wants out.
So let's try to get there from here.
🔎 Step 1: Take control of your viewfinder
Make a conscious effort to notice what's good in the world, what's interesting, what makes you laugh, and what gives you a little spark of life. ✨
If you’ve been bitter, depressed, cynical, or a "realist" your whole life, it may take years of practice for this to come naturally.
I’ve taken to wearing a bracelet that says "Find the Good"—because I often forget to do exactly that. 🌻
🚀 Step 2: Take action
🎭 Take an improv class. 🍝 Learn to make pasta. 🕵️ Throw a mystery dinner party. 🌱 Plant a garden. 🎤 Go to an open mic. 🎸 Take a guitar lesson. Stretch yourself!
Or do something more drastic—cultivate a new friend group (because we are who we hang out with), change your habits, get a new professional certification outside your current field, or start journaling. Do something that changes the map within you. 🧭
🧪 Step 3: Experiment
Every experiment can lead to a successful outcome because information is valuable, regardless of how it was obtained. While some experiments may lead to a new hobby, others will lead to the discovery that you absolutely do not enjoy pottery or gardening. 🪴
The point is to find resonance. ✨ To notice what energizes you and what makes you feel a little more like your powerful self. ⚡
Because getting unstuck is about finding a space within ourselves that is charged and energized—a space that lights us up from within.
And, to be honest, sometimes it's just a good idea to rest. Weightlifters build rest days into their routines because they know their muscles need time to recover and grow. If you've been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, you need that recovery time, too. Otherwise, burnout is sure to come calling.
Sometimes, we just need to ask ourselves one simple question:
What would make me feel a little more alive today?
And if your answer is, "Honestly, I'd just like someone to guide me as I learn about my own awesomeness, meet some interesting people, and have a few laughs," well...
I've got an idea for you.
Come to Boo R U this Thursday at Namu!
Because sometimes the first step toward a different life isn't a major breakthrough.
It's just showing up somewhere new, meeting someone interesting, and discovering that the world might have a few more possibilities than you thought.
Join me for a fun evening of connection, laughter, and a little self-discovery! This gathering is a safe space where I’ll host guided activities so you can catch your breath, be heard, have fun, and find community.
What if we could let go of the rules we've been living by and create a life—and a world—that bring us more joy? Let's explore what's possible together!
No costume required—just come as you are! (I'll be dressed as a runner)
Come to Boo R U this Thursday at Namu!
From: 7-9pm
Location: 5420 Durham-Chapel Hill Blvd, Durham, NC 27707
Just so up or you can RSVP to [email protected] so we know to look you!
Responses